Just Because it Smells Clean Doesn't Mean it IS Clean.

Guys, I have a lot to say today. Just bear with me. Room mate A and I share a bathroom unfortunately. We have a cleaning schedule and everything. It's on our wall and I even made it into a pretty neon poster. We agreed to the terms of our cleaning duties and schedule at the beginning of the semester because she just couldn't handle uncleanliness. I've been noticing since last semester that Room mate A doesn't actually follow the cleaning schedule. And she uses the term "clean" very loosely. She writes "Cleaned Bathroom" on the board on her door after throwing a little cleaning product down the drain so that it SMELLS clean but isn't actually clean. Here are all the bizarre ways this girl has tried to clean the bathroom in the past.

1) In the beginning of the semester she was cleaning the bathroom shower with the SAME mop she was cleaning the floor with. And she was using pine sol. PINE SOL! What the HELL is that? Who wants their bathroom smelling like pine sol and WHO cleans their shower with a mop? Not just ANY mop. Not a  mop specifically designated to the shower. THE SAME MOP SHE USES TO CLEAN MAC AND CHEESE OFF THE FLOOR OF THE KITCHEN!!! And she doesn't even rinse or sanitize the mop when shes done using it in the kitchen before putting it on the shower floor! When I found out she was doing this and did everything I could not to yell "EEWWW" in her face.

2) She switched to pouring pine sol on the surface of the shower and rinsing it by running water about mid semester. Mind you, I've been scrubbing our shower on my damn hands and knees like a PEASANT trying to keep stains from setting in. My mother will tell you I don't clean like that regularly. Seriously, if you ran into my mother right now and asked her "Hey, does Ashley clean the shit out of the bathroom on a regular basis at home?" She would laugh at you and say "Absolutely NOT!" and she might even throw in a little Appalachian twang because the question you posed was so funny she reached back into her roots and pulled it out. Guys, I'm downright disgusting. But a shared bathroom and a cleaning schedule devoted to the idea of not getting fined by the Housing Department seems like a pretty good reason to start cleaning properly. When I told Room mate A, "What you're doing isn't really cleaning, it's pouring" she switched tactics.

3) Her next approach was to do nothing while making it smell like she did something. She didn't have the courage to talk it out with me, and she wasn't trying to get back at me. If she was attempting that she would have just staged another coup in the living room. She just legit doesn't have any sense of cleaning skills and didn't feel like asking for help or talking about rearranging duties. She didn't touch the toilets at all, dust settled over each week she was in charge and water rings set in and made their home. She never bought the plunger even though she agreed to do so, instead she tried using the toilet brush to plunge. HOW IS THAT EVEN LOGICAL? You're just ruining the toilet brush I bought because of your cheap bastard ways! Her way of making the bathroom smell clean without actually being clean was to purchase air fresheners and pour cleaning product down the drain to get that nice pine fresh scent. 

4) Toward the end of last semester our shower was completely clogged because she never pulled her hair out of the drains and she was leaving particles of food and whatnot from the mopping method she used for months prior. I asked her to put in a work order and she finally did THIS semester. Then she stopped pretending to clean the shower all together.

I wouldn't mind all the grossness and whatnot if she didn't insist at the beginning of the semester that we have a whole organized cleaning schedule because uncleanliness in the bathroom is just such a huge pet peeve of hers. She's obviously a short annoying little lier because I'm disgusting but shes where disgusting things go to die. I haven't even touched upon the whole "Where's that smell coming from?" incident of Fall 2013. The stories too gross to even describe guys.

Now, this bathroom is the SAME bathroom we had a HUGE fight over last semester because she refused to clean it claiming that I unnecessarily cleaned it during her week, and that it wasn't her fault I can't keep track of when I'm supposed to clean the shower. She demanded that I clean the shower two weeks in a row because I was so irresponsible as to lose track of my cleaning schedule. I called BS because I knew it was my week. I verbally told her I was going to clean, to which she didn't say, "Oh I already cleaned it this was my week." AND I kept track on my own as to when I had last cleaned the bathroom. So she said it wasn't her fault. I didn't ask if it was her fault because franky I didn't care. I knew the bathroom was bothering her more than it was bothering me, so I responded to her "Not my fault" with a little Polish saying. "Not my monkeys, not my circus." (aka, not my problem SUCKA!) Needless to say it really hurt her feelings and we had to have a whole meeting about it, RA's and all.  

In short, everyone cried in the meeting but me, people described thier feelings and emotions and Room mate C ran away in the middle and it was all really dumb. Really dumb, but a super funny and entertaining story. I'll have to describe that whole incident in my next post. It would be an injustice to leave you without that experience.

I know I got a little off track, I just had a lot to say. The main point is, just because it smells clean doesn't mean it is clean. But I guess another worthy disclaimer is, don't handle people you can't respect the same way I do. It leads to some interesting stories but mostly avoidable trouble. Show some self restraint in a situation where you think the person across from you is a jackass sorry excuse for a person. Just walk away knowing that they suck, and that nothing you say to them will make them suck less. Seriously, do as I say, not as I do. Also, learn how to clean before you move away from home, people will like you more if you do!